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The 9 most bizarre things you can buy at Gwyneth Paltrow’s new London Goop pop-up

The 9 most bizarre things you can buy at Gwyneth Paltrow’s new London Goop pop-up

Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow.

Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow.
Emma McIntyre / Getty

The trials and tribulations of Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand, Goop, have been well-documented.

Just this month, Paltrow’s company made headlines for settling a $145,000 lawsuit over claims that its vaginal eggs could balance hormones, admitting that some of its magazine’s outlandish health advice may not work, and for selling $30 repellent for “psychic vampires.”

Despite the controversies, Goop seems to be going from strength to strength. A source recently told The New York Times that the company was worth $250 million and they just opened a pop-up in London’s affluent Notting Hill.

With the lure of vaginal eggs and vampire repellent impossible to resist, Business Insider’s London bureau decided to drop in on Goop’s new outpost to check out its most outrageous wares.

Scroll down to see what we found.

Goop’s London pop-up is located on Westbourne Grove in leafy, affluent Notting Hill — a neighbourhood made famous by Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. It will be open until January 24, 2019. Here are the most bizarre things you can buy there.

Tom Murray / Business Insider

1. The Elvie pelvic floor trainer, £169 ($223) and Fur pubic hair oil, £45 ($59).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

I was immediately drawn to a bright turquoise box encasing an indefinable gadget. Closer examination revealed that the gadget was a pelvic floor trainer retailing at £169 ($223). Apparently, the device is inserted like a tampon and can improve bladder control and orgasms, according to the Goop website.

I almost missed the oil that the pelvic trainer was placed next to, which turned out to be designed for pubic hair. Made with grapeseed and jojoba oils, Fur is “for those who prefer to go au naturel in the bikini area,” according to the website.

2. Amethyst bottle, £78 ($103).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

Above the pubic oil and pelvic trainers was a collection of water bottles with a notable addition – an obelisk-like amethyst crystal rising from the bottom like a luminous stalagmite.

For those unsatisfied by regular water, Goop’s amethyst bottles claim to infuse your water with positive energy and even “enhance existing psychic abilities.”

3. The Yoni Egg in jade, £65 ($86) and rose quartz, £55 (£72).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

The infamous vaginal eggs.

Paltrow’s company was forced to pay a $145,000 civil penalty after claiming the eggs could balance hormones. They didn’t stop selling them, though, which now attest to enhancing sexual energy and positivity.

For bonus points, “burn sage around the egg to clear the energy,” the place card in the photo read.

These eggs are rechargeable – just place in the light of a full moon, obviously.

4. Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace, £145 ($191).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

You’ll never be caught short again with this “discrete” 24-karat gold-plated necklace, which doubles up as a sex toy.

It’s even USB-rechargeable – probably best not to plug in at work, though.

5. Get Happy bodywash, £20 ($26).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

Are you unhappy?

Do you wish there was a grooming product that would just make you happy?

Luckily, Goop has the product for you!

Get Happy bodywash claims to contain essential oils known to uplift your mood. We’re not entirely sure what organic geranium and peppermint have to do with one’s outlook on life, but for just £20 ($26), it’s the cheapest thing in this list.

6. The Fireman vibrator, £50 ($66).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

This candle-shaped vibrator is quiet, waterproof, and has four speed settings and two pulsation modes, according to the Goop website.

The Fireman boasts four hours (!) of use with just one AAA battery (not included).

7. KYPRIS Moonlight Catalyst, £75 ($99).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

“Some things are best done under the moon and stars,” according to the description on the bottle of KYPRIS Moonlight Catalyst.

This “miracle serum” is billed as an herbal alternative to retinoid treatments, using pumpkin enzymes, Hawaiian sea algae, and more to refine your complexion.

It goes without saying that a few drops of this stuff should only be applied after sunset. Why? Well, we’re not actually sure.

The bottle’s directions recommend use with KYPRIS Beauty Elixir – £215 ($283) – for best results.

8. Four Sigmatic Mushroom Elixir Mix, £40/box ($53).

Tom Murray / Business Insider

At £2 ($2.63) per sachet, these mushroom-based elixir powders don’t come cheap – but then, nothing seems to at Goop.

Each type claims to have different effects, from supporting concentration to calming the mind.

Just mix with eight ounces of hot water, tea, or coffee.

9. Goop isn’t just about pubic oils and crystals, though — downstairs, one can find an array of clothing from designers like Victoria Beckham and Stella McCartney.

Tom Murray / Business Insider

I was disappointed not to find any vampire repellent. However, if there’s one thing we’ve come to learn about Paltrow’s wellness brand, it’s that surprising new products are always just around the corner.

Neilson Barnard / Getty Images for goop
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop must stop making bogus claims about its $66 ‘vaginal eggs’ because of a legal settlement. Here’s the real science.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop must stop making bogus claims about its $66 ‘vaginal eggs’ because of a legal settlement. Here’s the real science.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop is ponying up $145,000 in settlement fees.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is ponying up $145,000 in settlement fees.
Getty/Pablo Blazquez Dominguez
  • Goop, the beauty and wellness company founded by Gwyneth Paltrow, will pay $145,000 in civil penalties for lying to customers about the benefits of its “vaginal egg” products.
  • The company will also reimburse any unhappy customers who bought the eggs between January 12, 2017 and August 31, 2017.
  • A district attorney in California argued that the company used misleading, inaccurate information to convince customers that the eggs might help their hormone levels or increase bladder control.
  • Goop says the products will continue to be sold on its site.

A “vaginal egg” will not balance your hormones, regulate your menstrual cycle, or help with bladder control.

For Gwyneth Paltrow’s beauty and wellness company Goop, those scientific facts have come with a fine. On Tuesday, Goop settled a lawsuit brought by the Santa Clara District Attorney’s office and others that alleged the company’s claims about its “vaginal eggs” were hogwash.

Goop agreed to pay $145,000 and will continue selling the eggs online with updated language describing the products.

The eggs are each about the size of a narrow ping-pong ball – around 1.2 inches wide and 1.7 inches tall (a bit smaller than the colorful, plastic kind at an Easter hunt). There are two varieties: a rose quartz crotch egg that costs $55, and a jade version for $66. Both are non-returnable.

Prosecutors alleged that the company’s false advertising about the eggs was “not supported by competent and reliable science,” as district attorney Jeff Rosen said in a statement released Tuesday.

Those claims suggested the eggs could help prevent a woman’s uterus from sagging, make her menstrual cycles more regular, balance hormone levels, and keep her from wetting her pants.

“While goop believes there is an honest disagreement about these claims, the company wanted to settle this matter quickly and amicably. This settlement does not indicate any liability on goop’s part,” the company said in a statement emailed to Business Insider on Wednesday.

The Jade Egg sold by Goop.

The Jade Egg sold by Goop.
Candace Lowry/Youtube

The statement added: “Goop provides a forum for practitioners to present their views and experiences with various products like the jade egg. The law, though, sometimes views statements like this as advertising claims, which are subject to various legal requirements.”

Because of the settlement, Goop will refund any unhappy consumers who purchased the eggs or its “Inner Judge Flower Essence Blend” between January 12, 2017 and August 31, 2017. (Refund requests can be emailed to customerservice@goop.com or phoned in at 1-844-WTF-GOOP.)

Goop’s claims aren’t based on science

Goop says its site is simply passing on messages from practitioners who claim that the eggs “harness the power of energy work and crystal healing” that promote spiritual detox.

But the company has also said the eggs have some physical, muscular benefits.

On a page on Goop’s website that describes the benefits of the “jade eggs for your yoni,” the company calls them a “strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty” that once helped queens and concubines keep their nether regions in shape. (It’s tough to find any evidence for that historical claim, though other jade-egg salespeople make similar statements.)

As Paltrow told Jimmy Kimmel last summer, “women insert the jade egg in their lady parts… to help tone the pelvic floor.”

When Kimmel asked exactly how the eggs worked, Paltrow’s answer became a little murkier.

“I don’t know. I need to start my jade egg practice,” she said with a laugh. But she added that the company has sold “tons” of the eggs, and that “women, actually, have had incredible results.”

Misleading people about their health can be dangerous

The problem with putting unproven health claims on a website trafficked by around 2.4 million people every month is that it can lead people to engage in risky behavior.

Jen Gunter, a California-based obstetrician and gynecologist, wrote a widely cited blog post in 2017 about why Goop’s vaginal jade eggs are a bad idea.

While there are science-backed tools you can get to strengthen your pelvic floor, Gunter said, inserting an egg is a “load of garbage.”

“Jade is porous, which could allow bacteria to get inside,” Gunter wrote, adding, “it could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.”

Plus, she said, pelvic floor muscles aren’t built to contract for hours on end. Walking around or sleeping with the egg inside your body could cause pelvic pain and pain during sex.

Those looking for ways to strengthen their pelvic floor should instead consider kegel exercises, which are a scientifically-proven treatment for incontinence and urinary stress. Those require no equipment at all.

Gunter also wrote that if you want help boosting vaginal strength, there are specially designed vaginal weights. The weights are often cone-shaped, made with medical grade silicone or plastic, and built to be safe for women. But even those shouldn’t be worn for long periods of time.

This was not the first time Goop got into a sticky situation with false advertising

Goop, for its part, said it has not gotten any customer complaints about the eggs.

But this case was far from the only time the $250 million company has gotten into trouble for false advertisements, since there’s simply no science behind much of what Goop sells to its devoted following. Paltrow’s team promotes everything from potentially infection-inducing vaginal steams to painful colon cleanses, and the company has promised to help consumers treat depression, infertility, cancer, and insomnia.

Health law and science policy expert Timothy Caulfield even wrote a book about celebrities peddling junk science, titled “Is Gwyneth Paltrow Wrong About Everything?” (Answer: when it comes to your health, probably.)

In 2017, Truth in Advertising found more than 50 instances of factual errors on Goop’s website – not just for the vaginal eggs, but also soaps that purported to treat acne, un-scrutinized vitamins and supplements with names like “Why am I so effing tired?”, an oxygen bar that could be rented for corporate events, and a romance mist for everlasting love.

The company also came under fire in 2017 for saying stickers it sold were made with NASA spacesuit material and could “rebalance” your energy and reduce anxiety.

NASA said it doesn’t use the “conductive carbon” material that Goop was referring to in its spacesuits at all, as Gizmodo reported at the time.

Earlier this year, Paltrow told The New York Times that hiring a full-time fact-checker for Goop was a “necessary growing pain” for the company. The Times also reported that Goop was hiring a lawyer and a professor of nutrition science to vet the site.

But those efforts weren’t sufficient for Rosen, the district attorney.

“We will vigilantly protect consumers against companies that promise health benefits without the support of good science…or any science,” he said after the settlement was reached.

In general, it’s best go with doctors’ recommendations when it comes to sticking things in and around your crotch.

As Paltrow said herself to Jimmy Kimmel, “I don’t know what the f— we talk about.”

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