“It’s for the dreamer, the wanderer who wants to make the world a little more interesting and beautiful…”
“We were drawn to crystals for a myriad of reasons; visually, how they sound in the bottle, the way they capture the light, and how they represent more of a holistic view of the world — a belief in a bit of magic in the universe,” explain Charlotte Devereux and Philly Gebbie, co-founders of Girl Undiscovered, of the otherworldly powers behind their New Zealand-based brand that’s built a reputation for their transparency and ethical ingredient sourcing.
With collagen-boosting thanaka tree bark, anti-inflammatory kanuka honey, and healing cold pressed coconut oil infused to their ethereal line of products, the pair is proving that 100% wild is as efficacious as organic, with a sustainable edge.
What IS Crystal Cleansing Water?
According to Charlotte and Philly, the label was created to offer natural skincare for the “girl who wanted a bit more from her beauty products — it’s for the dreamer, the wanderer who wants to make the world a little more interesting and beautiful,” and the quartz crystals the brand has become notorious for (which are sourced ethically from Brazil) encapsulate this philosophy.
The brand’s culty Under The Waterfall Crystal Cleansing Water is infused with several stones including citrine, rose and amethyst quartz. “There’s something relaxing and quite charming about the way they gently clink together in the glass bottle and activate as you use it.” The water itself is a unique fusion of cucumber, aloe juice, thanaka bark extract and coconut water that work together to brighten and cleanse skin without harsh chemicals or acids. “We liked the idea of elevating this into a sensory experience with the crystals, the way they look, sound and emanate light and good energy in the bottle.”
Mastering The Energetic Stone Facial:
Taking the experience to a supernatural level is top of mind for the pair. “We created these products to encourage girls to take time for themselves in the effort to help make skincare rituals part of their wider selfcare practice,” they explain as we discuss the energetic stone massage designed to accompany their Stars Aligning Face Elixir Oil. “We have a set of six Stars Aligning Crystals to accompany our elixir for a DIY facial — using these to massage the oil into your face helps balance and illuminate your skin with an extra kind of power.”
DIY CRYSTAL FACIAL TIPS:
Concentrating on the contours of your jawline, brows and cheekbones, massage the crystals over the facial elixir to help release muscle tension in the face as well as drain away any puffiness from the day.
“Your skin will not only glow, but the crystals will help you to relax and bring you a sense of calm,” Charlotte and Philly note — and they should know. “Almost each surface of our headquarters in Auckland, New Zealand, is adorned with some kind of crystal collection — they’re constantly bringing us inspiration and positive energy!”
Devoted rollers can’t get enough of the tool and as a convert myself, I can vouch for the jade roller’s effectiveness at decreasing puffiness, minimizing lines and making sure your daily serums are penetrating deeply into skin.
Maybe you’ve seen them on social media or your local holistic beauty store. Maybe you were poking around a friend’s medicine cabinet one day, or came across it in another friend’s refrigerator. Wherever you first encountered the soon-to-be-everywhere jade roller, it’s likely not something you’d forget easily. The handheld tool is having a bit of a moment right now, and for good reason.
The jade roller — which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like — has been around since the 17th century and was originally used by Chinese royalty and high society members. Made from solid jade, rollers have one larger stone for bigger areas of the face (cheeks, jaw, forehead) and a smaller stone for harder to reach places (undereye, mouth).
Ok so why am I telling you to roll a spherical crystal over your face? First of all, jade is a stone that’s long been used in traditional Chinese medicine for its purifying properties and ability to heal and restore skin. Couple that with the lymphatic drainage and facial massage you’ll likely experience with a jade roller, and the tool is basically a knife- and needle-free stand in for plastic surgery.
I know it sounds extreme, but devoted rollers can’t get enough of the tool and as a convert myself, I can vouch for the jade roller’s effectiveness at decreasing puffiness, minimizing lines and making sure your daily serums are penetrating deeply into your skin. By using a jade roller every day (sometimes twice a day if you’re feeling saucy), you’re actually giving yourself a gentle facial massage. That massaging motion not only increases circulation (hello, plump, firm, glowing skin), it also works to break up any stagnation in the lymphatic system that may be causing puffiness or blemishes and gives your neglected facial muscles some much-needed TLC. (Tense muscles = wrinkles, FYI.)
Convinced? Here’s how to use your jade roller.
Cleanse + treat.
You should only be using your jade roller on clean skin. Like I said earlier, the massaging motion will help any product on your skin sink in deeper and the same is true for old makeup and dirt. So before you even think about picking up the jade roller, wash your face.
If you’re going to roll in the morning to decrease any I-barely-slept-last-night puffiness, consider popping your jade roller in the fridge overnight. The cool jade will lower swelling by shrinking blood vessels. It also just feels really amazing on tired skin.
Rolling at night? Go through your standard cleansing routine to remove all traces of the day and apply any serums and/or oils you like before bed. After giving them a minute to sink in, roll your heart out. The jade roller will help skin drink them up before they have time to evaporate or rub off on your pillow.
Get to rolling.
Now comes the fun part. There’s no right or wrong area of the face to start, but do make sure you’re rolling from the center, out. I also like to visually split my face in half using my nose as the divider and work on one side at a time to make sure I’m not missing anything.
Start at your chest and using gently pressure, perform outward and upward strokes with the jade roller along your skin. Pass over the same patch of skin three to four times, always moving to the outer edge of your face. When you need to return the roller to the starting point, pick it up and place it back at the start (don’t roll backwards).
From your chest, move up: neck, chin/jawline, cheeks (roll from your nose out toward your ear), undereye and eyelid (use the small end of the roller here and very gently move from the inner corner of your eye out to the temple), eyebrow (switch back to the larger side and roll out and down, following the contour of your brow bone), forehead (start in the middle and roll out).
Now do the exact same thing on the other side.
Finish with a soothing upward roll from between your eyebrows, up to the hairline.
The whole process should take two to four minutes, depending on how many passes you’re doing and how many areas of the face you’re hitting. As you’re working the jade roller, you’ll see your skin start to flush — this is a good thing! It means circulation is increasing.
Clean that roller!
If you want to apply additional serum or moisturizer, go for it. If not, your final step should always always ALWAYS be cleaning the jade roller thoroughly with warm, soapy water. This thing is touching your face every single day: keep it clean.
- Trauma doesn’t stay with you forever.
- Rakicevic Nenad / Unsplash
- Breaking up is hard. Breaking up with someone who has abused you is even harder.
- You will feel confused and traumatised for some time.
- It’s not all terrible though – distance will make you realise you’re stronger.
- Trauma doesn’t stay with you forever, and there are actually several positives from what you went through – even if you’re still hurting.
A common misconception about moving on from an abusive relationship is that the trauma stays with you for life. Even if you end up in a great relationship, you may still be lost in your old one, unable to fully let go.
In reality, this is usually simply a sign you haven’t moved on yet. Breaking up with an abusive person is hard, and it can take people months, or even years, to fully recover. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Perpetua Neo, a doctor of psychology and expert who works with women who are healing from damaging, toxic relationships, said if you sort through your pain, work out what demons you have that resulted in you being attracted to a bad person in the first place, then the magic begins.
“The narcissist didn’t want you to gain anything from being with them, but actually you ended up taking everything and becoming stronger,” she told Business Insider. “One thing people I’ve worked with find is that they gain a fuller, more whole version of themselves after leaving the narcissistic ex.”
You will probably be in agony for a while, because your body has essentially been addicted to the intermittent love the abuser gave you. But in time, you will realise that you are so much stronger, resilient, and capable of finding someone who isn’t going to discard you for being you.
Here are seven lessons you can take away from the traumatic experience of loving a toxic person – and the strengths you gain from moving on:
1. Using empathy as a superpower
- Empathy is a great thing.
Empathy can be both a gift and your kryptonite. Neo said if you have too much empathy for others, it can mean you start to honour someone else’s story over your own. If you do this all the time, it can lead to an “empathy burnout,” meaning you give and give, but begin to lose any care for yourself.
“We forget that we need to nourish ourselves first and foremost before we can nourish somebody else,” Neo said. “So in this sense, after the break-up, people start to use empathy as a superpower, and think of empathy as this burden, like: ‘Why do I go for people who tell me their sob stories?’ Then after that you realise you don’t need to take on everybody else’s energy.”
2. Boundaries are healthy
- Boundaries are your ‘hell no’s in life.
- everst / Shutterstock
The more time that passes, the more you will realise how troubling the way you were treated was. Becoming very clear about your boundaries means you have a better idea of the kind of person you really are. You also know what you are willing to tolerate, and you will be better at realising who will and won’t respect you.
“Boundaries are the ‘hell nos’ in our life, and sometimes we don’t feel like we have permission to say ‘hell no,’” Neo said. “Once we are really clear about what our boundaries are, and we stop seeing them as bad things, we actually get very clear about what is unacceptable. From then I can trust myself to have as much fun as possible, because I’ve communicated my line already.”
3. Gain a new perspective
- You might look at things differently.
In life, we are all subjected to ideas of how we are supposed to act. Some people will be more influenced by them than others. For example, films often clearly convey some of the power dynamics we are exposed to.
In “The Little Mermaid,” Ariel falls in love with a prince and, in order to be with him, she grows legs and gives up her voice. In “Star Wars,” Han Solo grabs Princess Leia inappropriately. In James Bond films, notorious for their misogyny, Bond forces himself on female characters such as Pussy Galore.
“What does that say to girls watching films like that?” Neo said. “When we keep watching this stuff about inappropriate behaviour, we stop understanding what acceptable behaviour is.”
Coming out of an abusive relationship can give you a new perspective about what you might have looked over in the past while you thought you’d met the love of your life. If you run into a person in the future who you think might hurt you, or acts in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you’ll find you’re more able to take a stand, Neo said.
4. Dealing with difficult people gets easier
- You’re stronger in many ways.
Realising your own boundaries in romantic relationships helps you out in other walks of life too. You’ll be able to say “here’s my line, do not cross it” to people in your family, friendship group, and even at work.
“Our voice is our sense of autonomy – if you can’t express what you want more of and what you want less of, or nothing of, then you’re not going to build a sense of solidity,” Neo said.
“Maybe your boss isn’t a narcissist, but they’re a bit selfish and caught up with their own world. And then if you’re an over-giver, you’re going to give more than your colleagues – so you’ll get burned out and exhausted by it.
“So once you are very clear about all this and you practise your boundaries, you will find you have a lot more energy.”
5. You become more resilient
- You’ll discover new strengths.
Being with a toxic, abusive person can make you feel like you are being mentally broken over and over again, Neo said, because they always move the goal posts and demand more and more from you. She said living that sort of life will show you just how resilient you really are, and bring forward the strengths you never knew you had.
“You know he tried to break you once and you’re not going to break again,” Neo said. “It’s this ability to bounce back from adversity or difficult events. When it comes to trauma sometimes people believe that it’s going to stay in your for the rest of your life, and nothing is going to shift. But you bounce back and recover and become a stronger version of yourself.”
A traumatic experience like an abusive relationship will change you, Neo said, and you will feel totally broken for quite a while. But once the fog starts to lift, and you see it for what it really was, you fix yourself so you’re indestructible.
6. The urge to help others increases
- You’re not alone.
- Vergani Fotografia / Shutterstock
Neo said once your energy stops being completely focused on your pain, you’ll begin to realise that you are not alone. You’re not the first person to be taken advantage of, and you won’t be the last, as these sorts of people seek out new victims time and time again.
When you understand this, you won’t be able to let it go. Neo said many of her clients have gone on to help at women’s shelters and written about their experiences on blogs.
Instead of being insular and sad, you will get a new lease of life, Neo said, and want to spread your message. You’ll realise just how important your story is to people who might be going through the same thing. You might even be able to prevent it from happening to someone else.
It’s incredibly difficult to notice the signs of a narcissist, or an abuser. This is because they are highly skilled masters of smoke and mirrors. Only when you have hindsight will you be able to see through the mask.
By having the gift of hindsight you can help others you think might be in trouble, even if that is just by being someone they can talk to.
7. You can identify the red flags
- You’re more discerning.
- 胡 卓亨 / Unsplash
There are a number of red flags that someone isn’t a good person to be around. It may be something obvious, such as rude behaviour, but a lot of the time the signs are pretty subtle.
Looking back and gaining perspective on a damaging relationship helps you identify the traits that drew you towards that person in the first place. Perhaps they were mysterious and captivating, and they ended up being a narcissist. Meeting someone else who makes you feel the same way your abuser did at the beginning is a code red.
“That’s your body’s way of telling you someone is bad for you,” Neo said. “As you become stronger and much wiser you become discerning, and that’s not a negative. Then you can own the fact you are discerning, that makes you pretty damn formidable.”
Can one clean, genius product revolutionize your entire routine?
When I ask Genevieve Tan about the kind of feedback she’s getting for her wonder product, an understated tube of Organic Healing Balm, she replies simply, “this stuff is magic.” And as the do-it-all salve celebrates its first birthday this month, loyal fans of her London-based brand The Gentle Label might be onto something.
Like a stepped-up version of the Paw Paw ointments makeup artists and models swear by backstage every NYFW, the Organic Healing Balm brings another power player into the mix. Derived from papaya, natural enzymes resurface lips without the need for chemical exfoliants, while Tan’s addition of nourishing calendula heals dry, chapped skin. “Conventional balms create the illusion of moisture, while their harsh ingredients can cause skin to become irritated, dry out, and age much more quickly than it should,” she shares of her instinct to nix petrochemicals from the recipe.
Its main purpose? Multi, of course. “It can be used anywhere from hair to heels,” Tan explains of her goal to make a unisex, streamlined product with the potential to be the only moisturizer you need to pack. “It soothes and heals cuts, burns, and bites, and it even provides relief after a fresh wax or new tattoo,” she notes of the lip-balm-meets-primer-meets-hand-cream-meets-makeup-remover-meets-wonder-salve. Below, a few of Tan’s bonus tips for maximizing the modern minimalist’s newest essential:
1. Apply a thin layer to lips and leave on while doing the rest of your make-up. Blot off just prior to applying lipstick for a smoother canvas and stronger, longer-lasting colour.
2. Dab onto a cotton swab to clean up eyeliner mistakes or smudged mascara without having to remove all of your eye makeup at once.
3. Turn powder pigments into a natural, dewy blush or tinted lip gloss by blending with a bit of balm.